Nigerian Adult Syndrome

One of the stereotypes I have always wanted to consciously break away from is the Nigerian Adult Syndrome. And to be honest, I think I’m doing pretty good.

Apologizing when you’re wrong is like extending an olive branch

A few hours ago, I saw a young woman bullied on the ATM queue and she was “advised” by onlookers to keep quiet because the bully was older. I was livid on behalf of this lady as she muttered under her breath in anger.

There are cases like this everywhere and it’s a circle. A circle we need to consciously break away from. The idea of automatically justifying the older person in an altercation, a fight or malice is absolutely preposterous.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe adults should be respected and honoured. I do not think anyone should be disrespected at all, in fact.

I am just usually confused about how we automatically feel that the older person in discord is the right person. Sometimes, we know the truth but we claim we can’t “call out” an adult in the presence of a young person. So, we’d rather blame the young person.

It happens in homes too. Parents can’t apologise to their wards because they think an adult shouldn’t be caught apologising. Only a handful of parent apologise to their children — my Mum does. My Mum doesn’t replace “I’m sorry” with “What will you eat?”. She just goes ahead to apologise.

What amazes me further is how we have found a way to make the Nigerian Adult Syndrome a normal thing. There’s someone reading this and doesn’t see these things as a big deal. Because they are also waiting for the next young person to “bully”.

Here’s my point; it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone should be treated with respect. If you offend someone, the yardstick for apologising shouldn’t be their age.

It’s funny how we grovel at the sight of a younger boss even when we are right but we are quick to say, “do you know my age?” when we offend a younger person. C’mon, it doesn’t have to be that way at all.

Fix up!

Anytime my Mum says “Mabinu” (Don’t be offended) when she discovers that she was wrong about something, it melts my heart. The truth is whether she apologises or not, I would have still forgiven her. What melts my heart is the thoughtfulness behind the apology. The fact that she chose my state of mind over her ego. It’s adorable.

This is the kind of adult I am and also hope to be to every young person around me. The aim is not to appear to younger ones as infallible. They shouldn’t think adults don’t make mistakes because adults do.

I know you’re beginning to think that this will set you up for disrespect. LMAO! Your self-esteem is feeble (It’s not a low blow, it’s just the truth). If you build self-esteem from hurting the feelings of younger ones around you, you need to check it.

Be the adult they can trust and you’ll be better for it.

I’ll like to hear your thoughts on this and if you’re speechless, feel free to clap many times, I’ll understand.